Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Vendors show

Usually when I am off from work for a week there is a lot of sewing involved.  Unfortunately for me that did not happen.  I have an opportunity to be in a vendor show on July 11th  it is something that I have been talking about for a while now but in actuality I have done very little work to get it done.

I plan to speak with the host of the show next week and hopefully  I can confirm thing with her and then get my mind moving!

It is a goal to do 5 shows within a year.    I really need to get this first one done!    Words of encouragement are needed.


Thursday, May 28, 2015

New Attitude

My I will get to that later attitude needs to stop.

My next challenge is to get this paperwork in check at the house and get a lot cleaned up.  I am going to need to have Hubby by my side when I do that.   He still has a mentality that I will take care of it.  When things fall apart due to his not understanding what I mean or I don’t understand what he meant.  It can be a frustrating adventure at best, and a tedious one but we need to work together to get it done.   It was a habit of mine to keep a “to do list” for the day. 

Planning what needs to be accomplish for that day.  A former activity that was a diligent practice but for a while I have developed the I will get to it later attitude , the results is that it never gets done.

When there is a list of 20 or more things that needs to be done and I cannot count on the support of the hubby it enables the I will get to it later attitude.  Also if I get busy or engulfed in what I am doing, such as enjoying hanging out with my friend I get carried on the wave and enjoyment and I just ride the wave.  Once the wave has stop that is when I think about what I need to get done.  Usually I have run out of hours needed to get it done.  

This results in a longer list for the next day and no motivation to get it done.  Then I hear myself say “ I will get to that is a minute….. maybe 20 minutes……. 2 hours…….tomorrow."

Right Tomorrow never comes just as the saying goes.  Unfortunately when this happens I do not think it through,  it just does not come to mind.  Then I am overwhelmed with a lot of stuff that needs to be done but that does not get accomplished.

I have to start my day by looking at my to do list.  Set  items up in order of important  A very important B necessary, C and be delay  check them off as I complete them and then   end my day by creating a new  to do list.   

This will be a challenge for me but the additional challenge will be to get hubby involved in accomplishing the list and help with getting it accomplished.  You know it will help us both to know what is going on and how we can accomplish things together. 

to-do-list-nothing.jpg (500×376)

Saturday, May 23, 2015

Where have I been?

No matter what I do my attempt to return to what i consider normal is often met my well meaning family who feel that i need to keep those feelings to my self.

As we were going up I thought the catch phrase " What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" was created by my father.

He was always telling what happens at home stays at home.  Please understand we were not abuse in any way however if the family struggles with some issues what ever they may have been.  We did not talk about it.........    Outside the home.

Now as my sisters and I have our own home sometimes we do not include each other in everything that goes on in our individual homes.   My sister often says to me " I do not tell you everything that I have been through"   I completely understand!  They same goes for me there are something just to painful to think about  so why relive them by talking about them.   Each have found successful coping techniques that help us to stay sane.

so I write stuff like this:

 Lost in the darkness of negativity created by the circumstances that  I live in.

For a while I have been feeling like attempting to climb out of the dark hole is next to impossible but last month I started to see the light and recently I felt the edge of the hole.  Knowing I was almost out the darkness and feeling the welcoming the light and warmth on my face.    Which gave me the energy to pull my self out of the darkness.

My arms and legs are tired from the effort needed to make the climb from darkness to light.

The Light is warm and comforting.

As I look around myself things are not that much better but the light has made things clearer to me and easier for me to clean up the mess around myself.

 If I continue to bask in the light of the releif i will extend my thanks to those who show me where the light existed.

I have learned not to be an enabler of destructive forces around me regardless of my love for that person or persons.

I protect my family to the best of my ability and always will.   I ask that Jehovah strengthen me and  keep a bright light my goals and to understand that they are right in front of me.   ~~

Empathy I feel your pain in my heart.   This was in our bible study on Tuesday  that needs to be put in a frame and put on a wall.

However it causes me pain to know that you now feel my pain.    See the circle!    How to break that circle of pain?


Wednesday, May 20, 2015

It has been a while.

OMG !  I have been thinking about my blog for a while.

So much is going on in my life that is negative that I did not feel like doing anything.    I did not write blogs,  I did not read any blogs.  I did watch a lot of videos about art journaling and all thing crafty or creative.  While I did enjoy that I feel that I have missed the opportunity to express my self in written form.

I like to write however I hate writing.  What I have in my head is often jumbled  so much that my attempt to write them down end up in a lot of missing words, unclear thoughts and even when I went back to read them I could not tell what I was feeling and why.

Typing is easier.  However I like writing and hopefully with time and planning I will be regularly writing my blog again.

I need to express my self as I would to my best friend which is my mother.  So some blog will be in letter format to my mom.

I need to rant and scream.  Someone recently told me that I was  like the mothers on 50"s tv.  Well I do like aprons but i think the  comparison ends there. I don't think Mrs Cleaver and I have much in common.

I want to start teaching sewing and I plan to start organizing that.  I have 3 sewing machines and I feel that I need 2 more.  One machine is  for my use and the other for 3 to 4 students.  

I need to make time for my friends.  Betty and Bam bam are so busy .  She is always posting picture of there adventures I will talk to her so we can figure out what adventure I can join them on.

On the homefront, I feel like I am homeless.  You know very nomadic with no home base.  The result I carry a lot of stuff with me that should be left at home safe and secure.  Even when I am back in my home I doubt that I will feel safe and secure right away.  But in time God will mend my heart and help me feel better.   In the meantime I thank my sister for her kindness and I thank my friend Velicia for her kindness.

Right now every time Hubby fixes one pipe another one breaks.  Good grief.

Right now a neighbor  has taken to parking in front of our house and in our driveway  He cut the grass and hedges so he feels he is entitled to the parking.    Good grief.

Right now I want to be home in  my own space so i can take the time to purge all that needs to be purged.   Good grief

Right now I wish my face was not made up to look like all is fine when it is not.

Right now I want to be working on my business opportunity

Right now I wish I have 2,000.00 to take care of a bill and deposit on an apartment.

Today at work  I was overwhelmed with all that  I needed to do.  I took a moment and took the time to assigned what I was working on  priorities and then i had an accurate idea of what i was working on and then i was able to get done what needed to be done.

That is what I need to do now,  I guess I better get some post it notes

Thursday, December 26, 2013

I can see again.... still need a zipper foot!

It does not take much for anyone to get discouraged. Sickness or watching a loved one deal with sickness or coming to the reality of a long time fear. My long time fear is the lost of my sight.

 I have been wearing glasses since 5th grade and have always gotten an annual examination of my eyes for fear of going blind plus I really could not see much at a distance. Even if the teacher put in the first row I still had a hard time seeing.

 First of all I am not going blind, I am just getting older. For most people getting older means reading glasses but for me I need glasses just to see across the room so when the same glasses were no longer useful for reading, sewing, drawing, o the frustration and then the fear of going blind reared it ugly head. I thought about never being able to sew or crochet or draw or paint or etc..... all things creative that define who I am. 

Who would I be without being able to do those things.

 I was already diagnosed with some problems with my retina. Because of the shape of my eyes the vitreous humor ( the gel the fills your eye) has begun to shrink and pull away from the retina. This is the cause of the flashes of light I had started to experience last year. If it feel like there is a curtain blocking my vision I am to go to the emergency room right away. Or if I have a firework show with my eyes close i have to go the the emergency room. I will probably need retina surgery right away or I will lose my sight.

 Before I got the glasses I have now I could not read without taking off my glasses and then I could not see across the room because I took off my glasses. I had turned into the old lady at the drug store trying to read the color on the lipstick container with the basket of toiletries and oversize purse on the floor at her feet with glasses in her hand while she squints and try to read the tube of lipstick.

 You can't see me but i just shuttered. I feel creep out.

 I have my eye examination and got my new prescription and my doctor must has sensed my worry because he assured me that I had pretty healthy eyes well they did not have any disease that could results in blindness. I do have to see an eye specialist for the shrinking vitreous humor but that is also a result of old age and truly is happening to me earlier because my glasses prescription is so strong and the shape of my eye is more like a football and a sphere.

invisible bifocals have made it easier to sew, read, paint, draw and my fears of blindness has subsided for a while.

 I really do not like bifocals I have to hold my head at a certain angle to get the full reading potential out of the glasses and if the print is light and the background is white, WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND THOUGHT THAT MADE SENSE!

 I will be closing out the year catching up on all the sewing orders that I could not do until I had my glasses.

 So far I have hemed 4 pairs of pants, 3 skirts, and takin in 2 dresses, let out 4 dresses and 2 skirts and i have 4 pair of dress pants that neeed zippers replaced and 2 pairs of jeans that need zippers replaced and I now remember I lost my zipper foot when I put my machine in the shop for a tune up.

 You can't see me but I just attempted to pull out my hair. Shaking my head.

I would order some new zipper feet but i thought lost my debit card and reported it lost so they shut it down. Then the next day hubby found the card on the floor of the closet! I have to wait 10 days for the new one.

 So i am laying out fabric for 2 requested dresses and one lace biker jacket which I am so happy that the jacket is for me because I really cannot see anyone waiting for me to get that done anytime soon.

Sunday, October 20, 2013

I cannot see properly.

I am having difficulty with my sight. I really cannot see well at all. I cannot see well enough to sew. After a doctor appt i will return.

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Reshape A Neckline.... Decisions, decisions

In my last post I am sure you notice the pattern I used and the dress I made the neckline was different. If I did not mention this I am sorry. In the November issue of Threads magazine there is an article on Reshape a Neckline and I decide to do this on three dresses using the same pattern. Last night as I reread the article I can tell there is something I just fortunate turn out well for me. I did not make a sloper of the new neckline so that I could use it again. As you can see the Simplicity pattern has a jewel neckline, on my first dress I made a V neckline. So I will have to make a sloper of the new neckline out of some muslin fabric that I have. The article pointed out when changing the width of the neckline you should account for the bra strap positioning to prevent the straps from interfering with a neckline. Put on the bra you plan to wear with the garment, drape the pattern on your body and mark the bra straps’ position on the pattern’s shoulder line. Oops did not do that but I am happy to say the bra strap did not interfere with the V neckline of the dress at all. I am very happy about that! Every one know how frustrating it can be readjusting a bra strap because it wants everyone to see how pretty it is. Grief! I really must not forget that on the next dress because it is going to be a square neck line. The last time I did a square neckline I had to wear a strapless bra which does not give the correct support for me. I think I found the fabric I want to use but I want to cut it on the bias and if I do I will not have enough fabric at all. So I am still deciding what to do. By this time I should have been finishing the dress. This one I will wear on October 21st which is my mom and dad anniversary. Since they are both no longer here with us I will be getting together with my sisters for a sisters day. So I have gifts to create a memoriam to our parents for each of us. I am still deciding what it will be, maybe a art journal page and I searching for the right pictures. So right now I am deciding on what material to use for my dress, creating slopers for the changes in neckline, finishing sleep caps, gathering materials for a art journal page to give as a gift to my sisters. When I post on Saturday I hope to have something to show you all.