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Showing posts from 2011

Return of doom and gloom

I have come to realise that my panic attacks are a result of the realization that I will never feel like the place i currently live in as my home. I DO NOT LIKE THIS PLACE AND MY HEART CRYS OUT IN PAIN!!

My sewing space is super small and very dark i cannot see well enough to complete started projects. Maybe i will feel better if i can get some light in the room.

I almost left work today because my pain was intense today. Pain in my knees,back,head,chest. I have to figure out how to survive in this place. I am not sure if i can but will attempt to fight thru.

My next post will be after i have been able to deal with the drama i have created in my mind. Pray for me!

Blue in need of Yellow and Red

11/19

In about 8 months I will be 50 years old. I never really paid too much attention to my age.
As long as I am able to do what I enjoy age is really not a factor. However lately I have had a lot of doctor appointments.

This increase in appointments started with the feeling of something was in my throat all the time. I cough to clear my throat, I took allergy medicine thinking of sinus drainage causing the problem but after 3 weeks decided to go to see the doctor.

This appointment lead to a series of appointments for testing and then appointments to get results of testing only to make new appointments for additional testing.. Results of all this testing a node on my thyroid was found and new treatment for my GERD.

Prilosec every morning and zantac 1 hour after last meal of the day. After about 8 days the feeling in my throat was gone. I continue that routine everyday.

When they did a CT scan on my throat to see if something was there, because I kept insisting that there was som…

10/31 Strange sights in the Scheduling room...

Monday 10/31

In the scheduling room today I saw a ninja sneak by my office while a little butterfly ran down the hallway. Santa was getting himself some candy from the basket in my office.

Mustard and Ketchup was talking to a big pink bunny, Groucho Marks was looking for his cigar.
A herd of dinosaurs ran down the other hallway.

I do not like halloween.

No Suicide is not painless...

10/26/2011

As you read this imagine the theme song from M.A.S.H tv series. The song is suicide is painless..


My dear sweet hubby does not understand why he now has to use 20 cc of insulin everyday in addition to 4 tables of 500 mg metiformin 1 tablet of amaryl (not sure of dosage). When the doctor told him is sugar levels were too high and he need to give himself insulin shots every day he seriously could not see why. I imagine the conversation went something like this:

Well Mr.hubby the meter is showing 312 is your current sugar level the blood-work is showing ac1 at 14. When was the last time you took your medicine?

Hey Doc I just ate some peaches before I came here that why the meter is showing a high number.

That may be the case however that is an extremely high number and the ac1 is way way to high and eating peaches just before today appointment would have slight effect on that. So when did you last take your medicine....last month.

Well I eat a lot of peaches. I had to have…

All Things Creative....

10/22

I am so behind on my sewing, crocheting, painting and all things creative! Work has become greatly demanding since the Singing scheduler is on family leave. Hubby has a new job working as a dispatcher and he is really happy with that. I have been working with my niece getting everything ready for the audition for costume design at the creative school. High school for her.

I have started drawing everyday to help inspire me creatively and hopefully it will help me.

Lets see,

Betty has a beautiful little boy. I love him just because he is here. The singing scheduler is in the process of adopting a little girl, I hope to see her one day. It will probably be at least 1 month or 2 before that happens.

Betty”s little boy I held in my arms and we talked and he slept. She has a beautiful family, and I am very happy for them.

Since my throat is starting to hurt I will be staying in this weekend my sewing studio will be completely set up. I can start on and finish the sling …

Owens family established 1961

10/21

Today is my parents anniversary, If they were alive they would have been married for 50 years!

I wonder what they would have done to celebrate this milestone. Whatever it would have been I know our family would have come together. Even with all of us it is still quite a small family. 4 daughters 3 of whom are married 3 grandchildren 1 step grandchild. I imagine that we would have a party with all their friends around and end the day with a plane ride to some resort for the honeymoon that they never had that I am aware of.

I miss my parents a lot because we never outgrow our need for them.

This was to be the year I would get my sisters together for a dinner and take the time to look at ourselves through our parents eyes. What would they say to us? What advice would they give us?

My sister(4) is organizing an MBA Gala at the glamorous hotel downtown this weekend. Great opportunity for her I hope all goes well. It was an opportunity the she could not pass up.

Her daugh…

Final move Hopefully

October of last year we moved into a cute little cottage and I never really got a chance to set up my sewing room.

October 2011 and we have just moved into my father in law house and in time it will be redecorated so that I can feel comfortable in what is now our new home.

I have the challenge of setting up my sewing room again but right now as I look around me this place looks like a candidate for Hoarders or more like it we need a visit from Niecy Nash (Clean house).

I work on it everyday and soon it will be feeling like home in no time.

Time flies.......

It is just amazing when I take the time to look at my blog all the stuff that has happen since May 31st. It is too much to tell so I am just going to make it short as possible.

My Sister’s cancer is gone as of now. All testing show that the chemo did its job and since she has the surgery done there is no need for radiation! She is not in the process of getting the tissue expander fill a little every two weeks to get to the size she wants. Then sometime in November she will have the implants put into place.

My cousin Brenda King died. This was stunning to us all she was planning a party for everyone who has helped her to deal with her illness. She went to fashion desgin school and because of her I had experienced what it was to be a model and then what it was to run a fashion runway! I love her very much.

Pap pap died, He fell and hit his head which caused bleeding in his brain and that was and still is heartbreaking and so is living day to day without him. Todd himself day that th…

Holding on!

Right now I am sitting in the waiting room of woman's hospital waiting for the doctor to come out and give us updates on her surgery. It is to take place in 2 surgery one surgery is the removal of the breast (bilateral) and the second is the reconstruction surgery. Total time in the OR 10 Hours add 3 hours in recovery room I guess I will be close to 9:00 before I see her again.

She had mad family support and elder from the congregation come to pray with her.

I am somewhat at ease that the first part of the surgery went fine and anxious in waiting for the second part of the surgery to be done.

This whole year has been a challenge and I have been feeling like I am about the fall apart. Literally fall apart but I have been holding it together but every now and again I slip and feel like I am about to fall off the edge of sanity.

When my cousin died i had to take the week off from work because I was already holding on by my fingertips! There is so much I want to say but it is not …

Daily life

I may get a new body out of this! This is how my sister started a conversation with my just the two days ago. She had been reading a book “John Hopkins Patient Guide to Breast Cancer”.

It was written by a nurse who personally had to deal with breast cancer. B just started reading it and she was please that is was full of useful information she said it was a truly encouraging and helpful book.

She explained how she may get a new body because of the breast cancer.
Get a tummy tuck and new boobs at the same time. TRAM flap reconstruction. Fat and muscle will be taken most commonly from your belly (a TRAM flap, which stands for transverse rectus abdominis muscle); or from your upper back (a LAT flap, latissimus dorsi flap). Resulting in a tummy tuck or a butt lift!
She will be able to keep her boob size and get that flat belly she always wanted. Hey I told her do they have a donator program I will be happy to donate my hip and thigh fat! I will be glad to help a sister out. …

Breathing a little easier.

Well the first Chemo treatment was uneventful. Which I was very happy about, because as much as I try not compare my sister treatment with what my mother dealt with it is next to impossible not to compare.

When my sister was first diagnose and she chose the hospital and doctors that would treat her she was given a binder in the binder were several tabbed pages which contain so much information and one page was a business card holder so every doctor she sees she has their card handy. They encouraged her to keep track of test results and all information she was given. This way she has a record of her treatment and they work as a team. For my mother I remember buying a 5 subject notebook and that was because she told me the information was overwhelming and there was no way she was going to remember it all. We wrote everything down and each time I was with her on a follow up appointment I had my notebook and the doctors were excited to see it and often would take it and read what I…

What's been going on.

I remember December and it was a day that I was happy to be home. My husband had just accepted a job with the same company that I worked for and I felt a load lift off of me. I t was the Christmas break and he felt weird giving a 2 week notice during the 2 weeks the school buses would be off because of the school observance of the holidays.

I was just thinking that we will be starting the year off right. Both of us full time employment with benefits. We were talking about the changes it would mean for us and the goals were just about to be put in place so that we do not lose sight of what we really need to accomplish.

Pay bills on time, on time is key! Save money, not for a rainy day but incase someone loses a job we will be able to live without sweat! Get in a position to buy a house.

My phone rings and it is my sister Brie, she was crying, she was just diagnose with breast Cancer. She was at home alone. I left home and went to her apartment. I held her in my arms while she cr…