Thursday, January 28, 2010

Weight Lifted......

I was employed with Cole National and worked in the Optical Department. I started as a receptionist/front desk person and was about to become an optician in training

In time I was the front desk person, the person training patient in the insertion and removal of contacts. Maintain the stock of the eyeglass frames I even created a system use to keep track of what we have to display. It was a great idea because the district manager presented the idea at a corporate meeting as if it was his own. I did the ordering of the eyeglasses and processed all the paperwork. Prepared all the figures for the staff meeting to encourage staff to sell the add on.

At first I really liked this job. I worked like I was working for a parent who was going to give the family business to me one day. I truly enjoyed the interaction with the people and felt important. Since I live in the neighborhood many of my customers were also my friends and neighbors.

In time it became clear to me that I would never be considered for managed positions. I could run the department which was made clear to corporate because they let me run the department for 9 months before they actually put a manager in place. I was still expected to do everything that the manager would do. I was so upset and stress that one day I woke up thinking it was Sunday realized that it was Monday and actually passed out. My father came up to my room (I lived in the attic) to find out what happened. The next day I turn in my resignation letter. The weight was lifted off of me when I did that. I was excited to see what I would do next and ever so happy to leave it behind.

When I left they had to hire 2 full time people and 2 part time people to place. I was happy to be unemployed! 2 month later I left my family home and moved in with a girlfriend who needed some help with her children so I became a nanny to 2 little kids. A boy who had ADHD and his little sister and I love them dearly.

What is the reason for my retelling this? My husband just turned in his resignation letter. He works for a local direct drive service for 10 years. We have been married for 6 years and I know he never received a raise in pay during the years we were married. Actually he was told that no one was getting raises because the office was struggling to make a profit. Everyone in the office complained of not getting raises so that he does not dispute. His work schedule 11pm to 7am, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday 7am to 3pm Saturday and 3pm to 11pm on Sunday. His father has been battling several illnesses during the time I have known him. Diabetes, Kidney disease, but he does not need dialysis yet, congestive heart failure, 2 open heart surgeries, double by-passes, prostate cancer, stomach cancer both in remission. And a host of other problems that come with just getting older and not following doctors instructions.

So when my husband would get off work he would drive a school bus and then go take his father to doctor’s appointments and then try to get some sleep before needing to go back out to drive the school bus to take the children home from school try to get some sleep before going to work that night. And do not forget that I being a needy wife wanted some attention. Friday used to be good night for us to go out be he would still be tired and usually by 8:00 we would be home. Him asleep on the sofa while the TV watched him and I was doing something so where in the apartment.

He said to me that when he turned in his resignation letter it felt like a weight was lifted off of him. He feels freer to be there for his father, he will keep the job with the school bus company. He just received a phone call from the motor coach division of the school bus company asking him to come in for some training classes to be a motor coach driver. This is something that he hoped to do as well and now he will be able to do this also.

He is more relaxed and happier. Feb12, 2010 is his last day of full time employment.

Then we move on into a new chapter of our life together.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

What is ......

What is the purpose of having an appointment only to be told that you do not have one when you arrive at the appointed time?

What is the purpose of receiving a confirmation of that appointment only to be told you do not have one when you arrive at the confirmed day and time?

Why does the front desk person then want to make what was their mistake my mistake?

What is the point have attempting to continue a conversation with someone who was employed only because she is the Doctors daughter?

Why ask why? I need a beer.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Sisters can be a pain.

Especially when they think that their time is to valuable to do something as simple as drop off her daughter to my house Saturday.

When we talked in detail about how his is going to work it was decided that T.B and I would work together on weekends. One weekend on a Saturday next weekend on a Sunday. On Saturday's my sister will drop her off around 1 in the afternoon and I would bring her home around 5. On Sunday I will pick her up around 3 in the afternoon and she would come and get her around 4 or 5.

Somehow after we decided this either she or her daughter's schedule suddenly was full. Saturday T.B. had to go to the beauty shop to get her hair braided. If I wanted I could pick her up around 3 and then bring her home after we were finished.

See I know my sister if I gave in to pickup and drops off at the very beginning then I would be doing it all the time. Sunday her family was going to visit their dad's grandmother. So two weeks went by with no work being done on her clothing line.

So I asked my sister to get the measurement of the children who are going to be her models since they live near her and I will get the measurements from her. I will use the measurement to draft some pattern on which the clothing can be customized according to my nieces designs.

My niece still has not decided who her models are going to be.

Just the other Saturday I decided that i would drive my husband to work. There was some running around my Auntie needed to do and then I would pick up TB and we can get some work done. I came to her house and my sister and her children were no where to be found. This is however all my fault because I did not call in advance to find out what was going on.

She started tell me about the possibility of a house she had found and that she would like some help packing up the stuff. She then explained how busy she had been recently and wondered if I could come over some Saturday. I told her Friday's would be better. She said that Friday were difficult because she had so much to get ready for the weekend but Saturday evening would be perfect. I told here I would come Friday after work around 7:00. She said that is a bad time for her. I told her I could only help on Friday's after work around 7:00.

Thursday, January 21, 2010


What was the cause?

That is the 10,000 dollar question. My FIL had 3 pints of blood removed from his stomach and they could not find a bleeder. Once he is released from the hospital he will be getting the capsule endoscopy which is basically a pill shaped camera that will send the photos to the doctor in hopes of finding the course of his bleeding.

While in the hospital they did to endoscopy but found nothing. Well the first endoscopy showed blood with lots of clots still in his belly. They thought one big clot was blocking the source of his bleeding but since it had clotted they did not want to move it for fear of starting the bleeding again. The next day they did a second endoscopy and there was no blood in his stomach and nothing that looked like the source of the bleeding. The next plan is to do the pill shaped camera.

The doctor explains that even after doing this procedure they may not find the source of his bleeding.

His breathing is labored because his body is retaining fluid. So they stopped the IV’s and are giving him lasix to get rid of the retained fluid. But he was able to eat today! Which he is really happy about. I don’t know if the food was good or if it was just good to have some food.

We still do not know what cause this and we may never find out. But if all continues to go well he should be home before Sunday.

~~~~~T.B Fashion Line.

Before the end of the friday I should be back in my sewing studio finishing some UFO before starting anything new. I will have to make a schedule so I have set day to work on my little desigers clothing line. This weekend we get started.

~~~~~~~I never got the house cleaner.

Tonight I clean everything myself bummer.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Thanks so very much!

Thanks you all so very much to sending pray and good luck to my FIL. This is very much appreciated. Some how appreciation does not seem to be the right word but I hope you realize how good this made me feel.

Thanks Betty, much love.

The Doctor did a second endoscope and they found nothing. The clots had broken up and were suction out of his stomach thru the tube in his nose. There was no active bleeding, no place in his stomach looked like it was the source of the bleeding.

The tube was removed tonight and if there is no more vomiting he will be place in a regular room. Since he had not vomited since last night tomorrow I am confident he will be in a regular room.

Today was difficult for a number of reasons. First I had to go to work. Todd had to be there to reassure his father and daughter and keep it together himself. I kept calling because I knew I could tell by the sound of his voice if I need to drop everything and get there. Betty was on stand-by with the cobalt engine running if needed which was so totally cool! She is a great friend.

The only thing I heard in his voice after about 4 phone calls was annoyance so I told him to call me.

FIL was stable condition and the only pain he was in was from the tube hitting the back of his throat. The tube is about the size of a drinking straw and no matter how flexible it was it just hurt his throat. He was definitely happy to get rid of that! So happy in fact he went to sleep while trying to talk.

He is no long pale and he does not look so fragile. Tomorrow I am sure he will be fussing at Todd about something of little to no importance. We rather had that than the " I don't want to bother any body." crazy talk.

I love him dearly and sincerely need him to live for a long time. He is 79 years of age but I have only known him for 6 years. He has so much knowledge and I need to learn as much as I can. We can have some of the best conversation and I always learn something.

I know there will come a time when we may not be so fortunate to have him around until that day come we will treasure everyday we have with him.

Monday, January 18, 2010


We were awakened at 6:40 with the ringing of the telephone. Usually when the phone rings my Hubby turns to me and says " Are you expecting a call?" This time he just got up and answered the phone. His daughter was calling to tell him that her grandfather was vomiting blood. We immediately got up and dress and was at the house before the ambulance was there.

I just stood back and stayed out of the way. But that did not last long because Hubby did not know what to do. His father started with the " I don't want to bother anybody?" crap that he says when he thinks he is about to die. I just asked some questions. When did you start vomiting blood? 4:30 How many times did you vomit? Once maybe twice Where were you when you vomited? In the bathroom it's in the garbage can you can look at it. I went back into the living room and waited by the door for the ambulance to arrive. I told Todd tell the ME exactly what he said about vomiting.

ME arrived and went to work. He told them all the information and one of the ME looked at the blood in the garbage. They said it did not look to bad but he had to go to the hospital. Pap said he would go there later himself. The ME looked at Todd, he shook ed his head no. So they got the gurney and put him in the ambulance.
We were in the car waiting for them to pull of when the driver came back and said to my husband. "Do not try to follow me I will have the sirens going and you could get into an accident."

I am so happy He told my husband that because I could just see us in the red mercury mystique flying down the road like some action movie trailer.

At the hospital he vomited again this time lots of clots! They put the tube through his nose, down his throat to his stomach and turned on the suction. Once again lots of blood and lots of clots. The clots actually clogged the tube.

The doctor told us that he is going to be admitted to ICU and they had to stabilize him and find the source of the bleeding. When he stopped vomiting and was finally asleep we went home to take showers and make phone calls.

We went back to the hospital and visited in the ICU for 1/2 hour and then waited for the Doctor who was doing the scope. 1 1/2 hours later she came out to talk to us. There is lots of blood in his stomach. This is a giant clot that they could not move so they believe this could be the source of the bleeder but they will have to do a scope tomorrow hopefully the clot will have moved so they can see behind it. Since he was sleep from the medicine they gave him to do the scope we went home to update the rest of the family.

We were finally calming down when I was reminded of a bill that I needed to pay online. In the middle of doing my payment and MasterCard pop up screen came up asking for my debit card information, INCLUDING MY PIN NUMBER!

I did not think I just did it. Soon as I did it I thought WHY DID I DO THAT? I worked at a bank for 10 years and always told people never give anyone your pin number the bank does not need that information. Old people usually were the ones every now and then it would be someone who clearly should know better. WHY DID I DO THAT? I call the bank at the 800 number and suspended my card. So now I have to make a trip into the branch with photo ID to get a new card.

Stress will make you do some stupid things!

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Invisibility Shield Surrounding me.

Saturday I attended a circuit convention which is really what I needed to hear. I will not give you details but it was about safeguarding your spirituality.

I felt so much better coming home from the special session. We went to Denny for dinner. I had the Prime Rib sizzling skillet and coke to drink. Hubby and I had wonderful conversation and my sister join us while we were there.

They were nice to each other for a change and it was a beautiful evening and I was feeling good.

I need to get some tights to wear tomorrow so Hubby took me to Target. It was the closest store. I doubted that they would have what I needed but why spoil a wonderful evening by complaining about the store we went to.

As we entered the store Hubby saw 2 females who were close friends. They were so happy to see him. Me they ignored. I became totally invisible.

The older woman looked to be in her 50 or so and the younger looked to be late 30’s. They hugged started talking about old times, asked about his daughter, how old was she has it really been 20 years. The younger of the two when to get her son (4 or 5) she wanted to introduce him to Todd, but the child kept hiding from her. Hubby did something that he never did before. He ignored me. I instantly became invisible and He never made me visible. Usually he always break the shield of invisibility by introducing me to whomever he met. This time he allowed the shield of invisibility surround me. The conversations continue and after 10 minutes I told Todd I would catch up with him later. He just nodded as he took out his wallet to show them a picture of his daughter.

I left and just roamed through the store. I could not find what I wanted so I just started looking at anything. After some time, not sure how much time, I was ready to go. I found him in the electronics department. I did not have much to say on the ride home and he wanted to know what was wrong.

I wanted to say “Oh you can see me now?” But I did not. He started telling me when he knew them and a bunch of other stuff that I was not listening to at all.

Usually when something of this nature happens I can ALWAYS count on him to introduce me to whomever he is talking to shattering the invisibility shield they attempted to put around me. But he did not do that this time. I should have listened to what he was saying on our way home this may be given me some insight into the reason for allowing the shield of invisibility to be place around me and his reason for not shattering it.

He talked, I thought about a silver snake print skirt that I had made but did not hem. I wondered where I put the hem tape because I should have finished it on Friday. Since I didn’t finish it I was mentally searching my closet to discover some other outfit to wear tomorrow.

I do not like being invisible.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

My computer is dieing!

I am so stressed. My computer is dieing, it looks all weird. I call the tech support people for verizon since I was playing one of there games when everything went kabluey.

I was so upset my hubby asked me what was wrong? I told him so he ran a cleaner program on the computer but it still not it normal healthy self.

I will be back online soon I hope. I am just no good without my computer.


Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Unnecessarily Cool a clothing line by T. B.

Unnecessarily Cool by T. B. This is the name of my niece’s line of clothing she wants to design. She is working on the logo and we will be getting together in the next week or so to choose fabrics and colors. She is still trying to figure out who her models are going to be. I talked her down to 5 models with each model having 2 outfits.

I thought her fashion show could be at my house. My living room is rectangular in shape and there would be enough room for the family to watch the fashion show. Our family total about 20 people. Afterward we could have some light food afterward. I would create a scrapbook of the whole event and that would be it.

I called my sister to see what she thought my ideas and to set up a schedule for us to get together regularly to accomplish this. Before I could tell her my ideas for the fashion show she told me hers.

She was going to rent a center near her home. Create flyers so T could pass them out to her school mates and friends so they could attend. Jo was going to a couple of boutiques in the area and give them invitations to the fashion show. Her hope is that one of the boutique owners would put T clothing line in their store. She was going to hire a photographer to video the whole event so T could have a keepsake.

“Whoa! Hold up!” That is a lot of money being spent are you selling tickets or something. No fashion shows really do not last that long once the models are done so she was not going to charge anyone anything. She really wants one of the boutiques to pick up her clothing line. Once again I was saying “Whoa! Hold up! Do you have a manufacturer for these items or what?” Her exact words to me were “You can make them and if we get enough orders then you can quit your job and earn money making the clothing and stuff.” I decided that she had been watching too much Disney channel or Nick jr. True Jackson is a teenager who works for a fashion house on one of those networks.

I just laughed, not because it is this could never happen, stranger things have, but because T is 11 years old. This could be a passing phase for T. She may be excited about it now but once you started with all the work involved she my lose interest and then what. You have all these people coming to a fashion show that I will have to finish for the little girl. I am sure that is the way it going to be anyway but really I not sure if I want that. Jo is quite sure that is what she wants.

Next Saturday we will see how determined T.B actually is to create her Unnecessarily Cool clothing line.

Sunday, January 10, 2010


My niece, T has decided that she is a fashion designer. Her mother wants to encourage her so she asked me to make some of her designs. The first couple of her fashion designs were much too old for her. She is 11 years old she thinks she is 21 so there is the problem.

I told her that she need to designs clothes for her age group. Look at the way her friends dress and they clothing her mother allow her to wear and then design fashions in this manner.

She should think of where they would wear the clothing; School, Kenny wood, the mall, movies or just hanging our with her friends. She said she would try.

Friday she showed me a notebook with some fashion designs in it and they were perfect for her. She did a great job so we will make these designs for her to wear.

Saturday I received a text from her mother saying she wanted to do a fashion show of T’s designs.

She is currently working on more fashions and a name for us to launch her line of clothing.

She has 10 friends who will model the clothes on the runway. 5 girls and 5 boys she thinks she will have 2 designs for each child. Wednesday I will go and get everyone measurements and draw up some blanks for the patterns and then Friday, T and I will get to work.

By helping her with this current dream of hers I will be a great motivator to my children(nieces and nephews). They can accomplish anything they desire and I am going to do my best by showing her how.

Friday, January 8, 2010

"If you take responsibility for yourself you will develop a hunger to accomplish your dreams."

I am ready to make the necessary changes in my life to better my life style. So that I can be a better person. What make this time different than any other time or any other goal I have set for myself. To be honest I don’t know.

I do know that I don’t want to die overweight and out of shape. I know that I am not stupid, or lazy or ignorant, I need people to see smart, strong, determine and hardworking person when they see me. I want to be able to make a difference in the lives of the people I am around. I need to be a better role model for my family and people that I meet and most importantly for myself.

Recently I have been thinking about what I could have done, should have done and then I come to know that since I am not dead I still can accomplish each of the, could haves and should haves. I can work every day toward accomplishing each of these things and a lot more.

I should be more Zealous in my ministry.
I could have read the bible from Genesis to Revelation
I should read more than one translation of the bible
I could have my degree in information management,
I should keep up to date on the changing technology
I could have earning power so that I can get what I NEED.
I should have my own business doing something creative.
I could have a regular exercise routine so that keeping fit should not be a problem.
I should be a great motivator to my children (nieces and nephews). They can accomplish anything they desire it helps to see that as well as hear it.
I should, could and need to be proud of me.

I should be able to accomplish each of these and more just by living a productive, driven lifestyle.

"If you take responsibility for yourself you will develop a hunger to accomplish your dreams."
Les Brown