Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Daily life

I may get a new body out of this! This is how my sister started a conversation with my just the two days ago. She had been reading a book “John Hopkins Patient Guide to Breast Cancer”.

It was written by a nurse who personally had to deal with breast cancer. B just started reading it and she was please that is was full of useful information she said it was a truly encouraging and helpful book.

She explained how she may get a new body because of the breast cancer.
Get a tummy tuck and new boobs at the same time. TRAM flap reconstruction. Fat and muscle will be taken most commonly from your belly (a TRAM flap, which stands for transverse rectus abdominis muscle); or from your upper back (a LAT flap, latissimus dorsi flap). Resulting in a tummy tuck or a butt lift!
She will be able to keep her boob size and get that flat belly she always wanted. Hey I told her do they have a donator program I will be happy to donate my hip and thigh fat! I will be glad to help a sister out. She just laughed and said that she had enough fat to handle this herself.
She is still reading the book and it is giving her a great deal of information. She has a list of questions for the surgeon for her appointment on the 10th. She asked me if I have any questions she will add them to her list. I thought about that for a while I have been so busy making sure she is tolerating the chemo will that I am forgetting the other phases of her treatment. I am going to find the book and read it myself and see if I can truly get a grasp on how she is feeling. I am trying to know what she is dealing with but I am still on the outside watching what has now become a part of her daily living.
Our daily routine had changed so much once my mother illness started stealing her energy from her.
I remember sitting next to the cot we had set up in the dining room for my mother because she was tired all the time. I would get up in the morning and get everything she needed set up close to her. My dad worked at night so when he came home go upstairs and pick up my mother and bring her downstairs for the day. He would stay downstairs with her. She slept on the cot and he slept on the sofa. It was not uncommon for me to come home at lunch and see my dad sleeping on the floor next to the cot holding my moms hand as they both slept.
When I ended my work day I would come home to find my mom and dad sitting at the dining table and talking. I would cook dinner for everyone and we would sit as a family and eat dinner. My mother would just pick at her food but she usually finishes ½ of what small portion she was given. After my sisters and I would argue about who turn it was to clean up the kitchen. My dad would carry my mom upstairs for the night and I would go into her room and just talk until it was time for dad to go to work.
That was daily living until one day I woke up and went downstairs to get everything ready for my mom and to my surprise she was in the kitchen cooking breakfast. She smiled so wide and said “I feel pretty good today. “ My dad was so happy to see her at the breakfast table waiting for him. I called off from work and dad gave up sleeping that morning. She wanted to go to the strip to get some fresh veggies. So dad drove us into the strip district and she walked to two market stands found what she wanted. “ I don’t feel tired but don’t want to overdo it.” We made it back home, she juiced her veggies into some strange concoction but she loved the flavor of it. When my sister’s came home from school they were so excited so see mom up and about that they just could not stop talking. We laughed at the dinner table and I hope this was the beginning of our return to our daily living before the illness that stole my mother vitality invaded out lives.
The next morning I got up and really wanted to see my mother in the kitchen. Before going downstairs I looked into her bedroom and she was not there. I went down stairs and I saw her sitting on the cot with the oxygen hose in her hand. “Please turn this on for me. “ I turned it on and readjusted the oxygen. I held her hand and was on my knees in front of her. She smiled and said “Yesterday was great!”
My little sister B is not on oxygen. She has most of her strength and determination. She finds the strangest things funny. She makes phone calls at 2:00 in the morning which I always take because it could be and emergency but usually she says things like “There is hair in my panties!” This was her way of telling me she had started loosing her hair. Or she will call and say “I may get a new body out of this!” Today she called and said “I think we are Jewish!” Remember please it about 3:00 in the morning. “What!” is the only thing I could say because we both were laughing? Then she explained that the defective gene she has is typical in Jewish women. Then she ended the conversation.

She left out the fact because of this defect they were recommending a double mastectomy because of this defective gene the cancer probably will reoccur. What will daily living be like if someone told you something like that?

1 comment:

Betty Rubble said...

Your sister seems to have a great hold of this. I commend her and you for sharing your story!