As a little girl I did not play with dolls, did not play house. I climbed trees and explored how things worked. Tried to make my bike do things it was not meant to do. My mother complain when I was a toddler she would dress me in frilly dresses to play and I would prompty find mud or dirt.
My mother and father had a loving relationship but I really did not see my father much. He worked the night shift. I had a close relationship with my mother. She taught me to crochet and make clothes. She kept a beautiful home and was a great cook. I felt that my father did not appreciate her enough so I decided that I would not get married and deal with someone who did not appreciate me.
When my mother died it totally crippled my father. I realized just how much he appreciated her. When she first died he would just sit in a chair and just stare for hours. Finally I started talking to him and he revealed just how much he needed her. Then I decided that I should not get married because I would hate for my husband to died and leave me all alone.
When my father was sick he told me that he was blessed to have loved a woman like my mother and have 4 wonderful daughters. He wished he could stay with us forever to give us a little bit more of what he learn from her. Then I decided that I should get married because I wanted a relationship like they had. They were friends who just happened to be married. They laughed together and cried together and work hard to make a good life for their children.
We were not rich and did not have enough at times but we were happy and felt the security of having both parents in our life as we grew up. I was 22 years old my mother died and 33 when my father died. After my father died I decided that I would get married. I would try to develope the attributes that my mother had or at least attempt to.
After several dates with people who were not worth my effort I had stop looking. When a family friend spoke of Todd,I was not really interested in dating someone who was married before. But we met on the Gateway Clipper during a dinner/dance cruise. That was in November. He did not call me until January I had by that time forgotten all about him.
We dated, we got married. He is a great friend, we laugh together, stuggle together and 4 years later still quite happy together. This November we will celebrate our 5 wedding anniversary. And we have decided that we should try to have children. This is simply amazing for me because I have never wanted to have children.
Usually any thought of children was quickly dismissed after a visit from the nieces and nephews. But recently that just makes me want them more.
So my discovery is that I want the life my parents had children and all. I am starting all this a little late in life but on well. It is the best time for me. I was 41 when I got married and I am 46, trying to concieve.
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