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No Suicide is not painless...


As you read this imagine the theme song from M.A.S.H tv series. The song is suicide is painless..

My dear sweet hubby does not understand why he now has to use 20 cc of insulin everyday in addition to 4 tables of 500 mg metiformin 1 tablet of amaryl (not sure of dosage). When the doctor told him is sugar levels were too high and he need to give himself insulin shots every day he seriously could not see why. I imagine the conversation went something like this:

Well Mr.hubby the meter is showing 312 is your current sugar level the blood-work is showing ac1 at 14. When was the last time you took your medicine?

Hey Doc I just ate some peaches before I came here that why the meter is showing a high number.

That may be the case however that is an extremely high number and the ac1 is way way to high and eating peaches just before today appointment would have slight effect on that. So when did you last take your medicine....last month.

Well I eat a lot of peaches. I had to have eaten 4 or 5 peaches.... I know I have to cut down on my portion sizes...

Mr Hubby. When did you take you last dosage of metiformin? ( the doctor is looking him straight in the face this time.)

It has been a while........ more than 6 months ( hubby is look anywhere be at the doctor)

Did you take your meds at anytime this year?

I know that I did because I had a refilled the medicine this year....

Mr hubby you have not been taking your medicine and you have not paid attention to your diet are your exercising at all.

My wife has a membership where I can go with her to work out

Have you gone?

No.... ( hubby is defeated and he knows it )

So you can understand my exhaustion with him when he tells me the results of his doctors appointment. He tells me that the doctor told him this is his own fault he knew what needed to be done and he gives all sorts of excuses as to why he did not do what he was suppose to do so he needs to have the insulin and hope that the damage to his pancreas is not serious and maybe he can get off the insulin and go back to just pills but that is really depends on him

When I did not respond in any other way than to say “ Do you know what you need to do? Good I will continue to do what I can do help you.”

We went to the Diabetes educator and he was shown how to use the insulin pen to inject himself . Then I was shown how to give him the emergency dosage if he passes out. I am to call 911 first explain what is going on and then give him the injection...

In my mind doing this calmly I would take his sugar level first to see if it is high or low..... if low and he is uncooperative or passed out I will give him the shot and call 911 etc..... who knows i may not every need to do that.

Short person, his daughter, yelled at him for trying to blame the doctor for giving him insulin when “ you did it yourself the doctor gave you insulin so we would not come home find you passed out and then you die!” She went back into her room and came back out later after she was calmer and her dad was asleep.

She explained to me that she can see that diabetes is hereditary and so she need to get herself together. I told her to get as much information that she can get and make whatever lifestyle changes that need to be made done.
I am stressed and have decided that he is actually committing suicide and murder. Because He is killing me as I watch him slowly kill himself. This is very painful..


Anonymous said…
It never ends with him...and I'm so sorry for that!

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