Thursday, June 25, 2009

I know I said this before but here I go again.

Trying to have a child as I enter the age group of 50 is completely asinine! I just turned 46 this year. This is the main reason for not seeking meds to help with fertility. That is a lie! That is not my main reason for not seeking meds to help with fertility. The main reason is that I don’t want to be deemed infertile. I have never had children, I have never been pregnant. So I could just be a barren woman.

Yesterday a co-worker was telling my that her daughter felt the fluttering of her child. She is about 5 months along in her pregnancy . “ You know the fluttering feeling you feel when your pregnant.” She could tell my the blank expression on my face that I had not a clue. She then put her finger tips on my arm and lightly and quickly fluttered them. “ It feels like that .” I just nodded my head. She then changes the subject.

My belly has never grown as a child grows within and all my stretch marks are because I gained too much weight too quickly.

For me having a child meant having a husband. I married my husband when I was 40 I am now 46. My husband has a daughter she is 20. So I feel that he is not the problem. When I turned 42 we decided to try to have a child. It has been 3 1/2 years.

Since I turned 42 my cycle started playing tricks on me. Please realize that when I was in my 20’s and 30’s my cycle was regular and I was so in tune with the way my body worked I could tell what time my cycle was going to start. I felt healthy and my regular cycle was my indicator that I was healthy.

Now my cycles are irregular and I feel out of sorts most of the time. One doctor told me I was premenopausal which only made me sad because I felt I could not have a child because of this. Due to insurance changes I went to a new doctor who told me I was not premenopausal giving me hope again. But my cycles never became regular and at times I had to take Provera just to start the cycle up again.

It is really time to go back to the doctor get the blood work done to see where my FSH , LH, and prolactin levels are. If they are too high this could be a sign of menopause. I will have to make sure to include progesterone levels as well.

I guess the first step is to get to the doctor’s office.

1 comment:

Betty Rubble said...

Whose daughter is pregnant? You holding out on me?

Also, being deemed infertile is actually easy--being deemed a habitual aborter sucks...keep it in perspective...there are worse things in life!