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What the ???

My friend whom I happen to work with told me that she thought I threw her under the bus to save my job.

There are a lot of definition in the Urban dictionary to the saying "throw under a bus."

This is one : to sacrifice some other person, usually one who is undeserving or at least vulnerable, to make personal gain.

What the ?? I was shocked and hurt that this thought even came to her mind. Even more so because nothing I could say or do would change her mind.

In order to do this I would have to have known something that she did not. I would have had to know that our jobs were in jeopardy. I found out this information at the same time as she did. Also I would have to figure out a way to make myself more valuable than she. How? She is the one with the friendship and trust of the director. Without her I usually do not have lunch with him and the one time I did the conversation was about what type of training I need to be able to go into other departments. I have had the same conversation with her!

At first I started to cry but I stopped. Because tears have no effect on me when I have made up my mind about something and I feel that is the case with her.

If I threw anyone under a bus it was L. I explained in detail every aspect of what she does that is not in compliance with the job. I share a office with and have friendly conversation with her every day. My friend is aware of that and this is probably what convinced her that I did the same to her.

I cannot change that.

I would prefer to be the one who loses her job but I am not about to volunteer!

I have been researching other jobs since J became our director. I do not like how he feels it necessary to tell stuff that should not be told. He is a good director and things have changed for the better.

I actually stopped looking for jobs when he was able to prevent the loss of any positions when the first round of layoff took place in our place of employment. I realize that there were a lot of other factors that assisted with this saving of jobs. Nonetheless,I started to change my mind about him but now I know that was premature.

I have thought about this and discussed it with my husband, the only thing he said was he know the the director was up to no good. I am still confused about what that is suppose to mean. I talked to my neighbor about it she just said that how some people think.

Urban dictionary defines friend in a lot of different way as well here are two:
1. someone who is kind to you, honest, trusts you and would never do anything to hurt, annoy, anger you, or make you uncomfortable in any way. they love you for just being you. friendship can never be a one sided relationship.

2. An unreachable goal, to have friends
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