Thursday, June 19, 2008

Interesting conversation.

Today we had a floater come it to do check in. She did fairly well and I really hoped she could have stayed. At luck would have it she had to go to a different office and I am stuck at front desk tomorrow as well.

However we had an interesting conversation. All day she kept talking about how she loved children. I really did not want to hear her gush about how wonderful her children or child was so I never responded. When the afternoon came about and she came back from lunch there was a very cute little boy in the waiting room who smiled and shy away if we responded. And again she talked about loving children. So I asked " Do you have any children?" Her response was one I was not expecting. "I had a little boy He would have been 7 years old today."

"O I am sorry."

"No don't be. " She then proceed to explain that she had a memorial for him on his conception date instead of his birthday because his birthday was also the day he died.

When she found out she was going to have a baby she was 19 and in college and so afraid of what her mother would say or do. Her mother was going to have surgery and so came to the college for a suprise visit to see her to tell her about what she was going to go through. So she told her mother her suprise "I going to have a baby!" and then she cried. Her mother held her and asked her why was she crying. She was scared of disappointing her mother and the family. Her mother said she was not disappointed in the least and she was happy and the rest of the family would be happy also. Her boyfriend who was costa rican was very supported and also very happy. Because of all the support she received this a good memory. Everyone was happy with anticipation for the new child, 1st grandchild.

Every thing was going along great. Then she found out she had an incompetent cervic. When the baby reached the weight of 2 lbs she went into labor. The lungs were not developed and the baby was put on a respirator. The doctors explained that she had done nothing wrong and that there are no warning signs for her condition and it could have been a one time thing. If she got pregnant again she may not have the same problem.

The doctor explained that baby born with under devleoped lungs can survive and their lungs develop while in the hospital. But unfortunately with her child there was only one partically formed lung. Because of this his brain is not getting enough oxygen. If he survived he would live life like a vegetable.

She and her boyfriend decided that was not the life they wanted for their son so they took him off the respirator. They were told he would die instantly but he survived for 2 hours before he died. They had a chance to hold him and connect with him and then lose him. He was 2 lb and 12 inches long. If she had gone to full term he would have weighed 10 lbs or more.

She has no children right now and hopes one day in the future to have some. If the incompetent cervic is still a problem after 4 month she would be on complete bed rest until the full term of the pregancy. No insurance will cover the cost of stitching the cervic because of the permanent damage that does to the cervic.

She memorializes the conception date of her son because it was the beginning of a wonderful promise of her son. She will never forget the day of his death and being able to hold him and connect with him for the 2 hours. She prays for the day when she will conceive again.

She is 26 years old and single. She wants to wait until she is married and then have the family she dreams about.

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